Salvia
Salvia is the only drug I tried thus far that gave me a true ego death experience. It's thus far the only drug after which I instantly lost the notion of time passing and who I was as a person. I was some object and during the trip, I felt that I was the object now, before and forever after.
Notes
- Despite Salvia bad reputation and even my own fear of it, it is not all darkness. It shows the most profound and uncomfortable state of consciousness that it often shocks people and due to ego death there is very little one can do to prepare for it.
- Salvia is a teacher and lessons are not always pleasant. Salvia shows you the raw reality of your own state of mind.
- Only thing to fear is you.
- I'm actually not entirely sure that salvia can cause ego death...it actually seems that's the only thing that actually remains most of the time while everything else dissolves (memory/knowledge/etc., but "I" am still experiencing this experience). I think I also understand what you have experienced though, but I just think there needs to be a different name for this because it is fundamentally different than ego death experienced on traditional psychedelics (your entire sense of self goes away too...there is no more "you" at all).
- From personal experience... With salvia, "I" still exist and "I" have a hell of a time. But with ego death induced by psilocybin, there was no more difference between the universe and myself, and "I" was simply no longer a thing anymore. It's almost like salvia is the exact opposite in that it's a sort of hyper-focus on the ego rather than the death of it.
- Salvia breakthrough feels 100% real. It will turn you into a chair, or a segment of a conveyor belt, or a toy on the floor of a child's room, and you will lose all memory and perception of time, humanity, and reality outside of your current perspective. You have always been a chair, and you always will be. I don't think there's any other way to experience the feeling of eternity quite as effectively as on salvia. Eventually things unravel and you spiral back into your body, now filled with more questions than answers. From an outside perspective, the trip is quite short - but what is time, if it is not solely created by our own conscious perception? (Here's where I stop myself before getting too existential). Salvia feels about as real as anything can possibly feel - sometimes even more real than "real life".